mugging n more mugging

sigh... exactly 3 more weeks to the start of the A levels... how prepared am i for it??? should be not bad lar... covering more ground at a faster rate budden math is still quite a hurdle... hopefully i can start practising full papers by next week... actually mugging for As is much less taxing than mugging for prelims cos everythings' more or less in the brain already. somewhere. that said... i hope i can keep up the momentum n peak during the final papers!

hmmmm enough abt mugging... yeah... school ended last friday 14 oct... though there were only about half the class who went for dinner at fei cui, we had a whale of a time eating! haha.... my table was the below poverty line table, cos we each had one long of long bao(sounds weird) n a little smth else each budden the other table was having a feast la! peilin, jiayin,eileen,milly,yixin,eric n taige.....gluttons? hahah... my table comprised me,qiuting,irene, legend, evelyn,kane, ks,lisa, the comparatively more sane ppl... haha... so we ate n took alot of photos n irritated the waitresses as we poor students had to argue over $0.07. yup. n recently i've been noticing how waitresses/waiters, salespersons serve customers. conclusion: fei cui service is not paralleled to its reputation as a higher end restaturant. they were so impatient in collecting our bills n i din even hear words like thank you etc... i suspect its a case of over commercialisation n snob. come on man.... buck up service standards for the sake of singapore! haha...

anyway after dinner we intended to walk to fort canning from taka but changed our minds n settled down at the istana park. i remember the last time we were there was after STJ(senior treat junior) at fish n co... this time around, the atmosphere was markedly different. I sensed that everyone was feeling rather melancholy, perhaps it was due to exam stress, but i guess it was the reality that we were all facing--- bidding farewell to our JC life. We played a litlle truth or dare, but there was no dare at all but frankly, there was nothing very juicy. hopefully can squeeze more things out during our chalet! haha... the session was ended in tears when we hugged one another n wished each other all the best for the upcoming exams. There n then, i couldn't cry, as i was so happy that we so truly cherished one another n that our class which was once so divided n pathetic, is now so united n warm... so...i have to say this.... 04S72.... i love you!

sch's almost out

i went to sch today for a 1 hr 20 min bio lecture... the time i take to go to school n back home takes about twice as long... you must be telling me to pon... but hey... i really dun see the point in ponning school...

went through sexual repro questions without any hiccups, what could go wrong with the very zai mrs foo ard?? sigh... this is the last lecture by her... i think she's really one of the most efficient n steady tutor ard... haha...she turned a class that smelt others' backside into one that showed off her ass to others!!! haha...crude la but it's true 04S72 really wo hu chang long...

the most motivating words i've heard so far since exams stress started building up: "you've already come this far. It'll be a waste to give up now" how true... i've worked so hard with the aim of succeeding, not to fail, so i can't give up now!!

the last song

this morning was jus like any other normal school days where hordes of students still hanging around the class benches were shooed by the intimately adderessed tiger lee to attend morning assembly.

"the school song"...
" as part of our voices......."

It's the very last time i would be singing the school song in Hwa Chong and at that point in time where i was listening to the school song( i dun usually sing anithing during morning assemblies), i wondered which other JC2 student realised that it was the last time they would be singing the school song.

Before time had diluted my memories of the last day of school in DHS, i have almost completed another part of my journey. I had my doubts reserves about 1 year and 10 months ago when i stepped into Hwa Chong but before i knew it, my JC life is almost over... how much i matured, how much i achieved, i dare not compare with others, but what i don't pale in comparison with others is the feelings i felt throughout JC...

In just a short span of 2 years, i have gone through a lot, both good and bad. I have seen how my CT( 04S72) changed, how my classmates changed, how i myself have changed....

2004:

• everyone was still awkward with one another. There was evidently a lot of cliques, dunman clan, sc clan... all those awful exclusions of individuals made me sick to the core... perhaps cos i didn't belong to any cliques, but more because i prefer a united class...
• the system in JC was markedly different from that in DHS. more freedom means more discipline if high levels of performance was to be maintained. sadly, i abused the freedom i had and allowed myself to indulge in the sinful act of sloth. thus, the results were mine to bear.
• which brings me to another point. I think my confidence has been greatly hit. i find myself less confident, which is really bad....perhaps u may not notice it, but yes, i feel much less confident to the point of feeling inferior....
• PW, CCAs and immaturity spawned enmity, quarrels, ostracisms amongst many of us. i jus couldn't understand how silly we were.
• After promos and PW ended, things took a change for the better. Our class had a chalet where i guess bonded most of us...

2005:

• a new school year, things looked promising, and it was. at least our math n bio tutors were now permanent and not pregnant! goodness, las yr both math n bio tutors were pregnant!
• mrs foo n mdm yeo were great teachers, at least our grades showed, n i gradually picked up some comfidence.
• our class was becoming more crappy, loads of crap coming mainly from the usual suspects( guess i'm guilty), yeah... the things become catalysed... n 40 mins were passed in continuous laughter.
• though all of us had different "buddies" in class, there was much more class spirit n it is mentally comforting as we rendered support to each other esp when we were mugging for prelims.

And i hope the story continues... the stress of the exams has overpowered the sad emotions that comes with every ending of a story,ironically. 04S72 is full of bright ppl who would soon jet off to different parts of the world after this year and gatherings will be bound have many absentees. thats the reality of life, but i hope that down the years, we'll still be as joyful as we are now...

Be Glad

Be glad

Be glad that you don’t have svelte figures or six pecs
Some people have bloated bellies that scream for food that may never come

Be glad you don’t have nicer clothes to wear
Some people have clothes that are torn and tattered.

Be glad you don’t have enough money for that Nike shoes.
Some people have only the calloused n rough skin on their feet.

Be glad you don’t have a huge bungalow in Bukit Timah.
Some people have all the land with zinc roofs and all the rubbish and dirt.

Be glad you don’t have As in your exams
Some people have A, B and if lucky, a C in their entire vocabulary.

Be glad you don’t have more time to spend.
Some people have time to breath in dust before they bite it.

Be glad you don’t have more gory pictures to see on the newspapers.
Some people have relatives whom you’ve seen in those gory pictures.

Be glad you don’t have a seat on the MRT.
Some people have seats they dare not sit on for fears of another bomb.

Be glad you don’t have your daddy drive you to school.
Some people have cars they can’t drive to make their livelihood cos they couldn’t afford fuel.

Be glad you don’t have jaw-dropping economic growth rates this quarter.
Some people have economies that are worse than not having one at all.

Be glad you don’t have illnesses.
Be glad you don’t have missing limbs.
Be glad you don’t have to worry about not having food to eat.
Be glad that you don’t have to fear death every time you open your eyes.
Be glad you can feel, you can smile, you can cry, you can feel comfortable.
Be glad of all the things you have n fuss not the things you don’t have.
Be glad.

life's gonna be so SIAN for 2 months!

so pissed, las nite i typed out an essay about the evolution of Homo Sapiens den blogspot jus hanged n POOF my entry was goNE... wTH...

yeah aniwae today i was like a big fat slacker... dunno y i couldn't sit still n conc on my bio... so i alternated between bumming, studying, tv-ing, eating, studying.... den i couldn't stand it so went for a run... sloth is a sin... therefore i decided to repent! haha... den crazy for some personal time, i went to TM to walk walk... haha...

yeah today is sian la......

hot hot hot

today was totally another fei4 day... woke up at 5.30 to finish of chem paper den packed my stuff and went to sch... damn... i'm still so early la... GP starts at 9.20... hAIz... GP was a waste of my time la... other CTs are feverishly doing compre n essays.... while my CT... talking about GP which would hardly be of great help... what to do? our dear tutor's sick, preoccupied with her wedding n most appallingly, inexperienced... k shall not demean her lest i get sued by HCI or whatever...

so finally GP lesson over den me, eve, irene, weed, eric n ks went swimming!!! FInally after so many days of comtemplating swimming sessions by myself n failing terribly to do so due to utter sloth, finally get to swim... peilin, qiuting n jiayin studied at poolside restaurant while we swam... the sun was beating down hard on us but SUN is GOOD... repeat after me... SUN is GOOD.... not sun ho though... i think she sucks totally... anyway, swam 30 laps like a humpback whale.... slow n steady... chinese high pool is shuang cos there's literally no one else other den us n entry fees is only $0.20... though we pay $3 every month for its maintenance!!! damn.... but aniwae it was a good swim... hoped i burned some calories! haha... woah... but kao eh.... i din realise my goggles too tight so now both my eye areas are bruised!!! =(

today fa yi X dang an last episode... I think this show is worth watching, not becos the actors and actresses' acting were superb but rather the storyline was pretty captivating n mind boggling... even my dad who abhors tv serials commented tt it was QUITE nice... haha... yup so the last ep talked abt these humanoid plants n their all the env stuff... left me thinking abt Homo Sapiens, aka humans.

i think its really amazing that we humans, with neither the size to overwhelm predators like the elephants, nor the speed, claws, strength nor stealth of the big cats to overpower preys could adapt so well to the environment n fluorish. I read that the success of Homo Sapiens had to do with their success in obtaining more nutitious foods n quality rest that allowed the development of our brains. well, so i guess we are what we are today due to our ancestors, but i believe that in the course of our evolution, we Homo Sapiens must have done great evil, as our competitors had to be eliminated, if we were to get the most resources. Survival of the fittest, perhaps that's the reality of life. Sometimes i wonder if our survival n great success in perpetuation on Earth is really good. Look at all the world today, there are still so many people who can hardly feed n clothe themselves, who spend half their lives being eaten by diseases, who were born to die. Yet, there are people who gorge themselves silly at table buffets n discard food indiscriminately, splurge on expensive clothes that probably a child made for less than a dollar.

Actually, the human reproductive success is one of the lowest in the animal kingdom(a tiny fraction of sperms ejaculated make it to the egg, 40% of fertilised eggs make it to the 3rd month) so many odds against the production of a new human being, yet Earth is almost brimming with humans in this 21st century. Isn't our life force amazing? I think its so strong that it has suppresed and threatened the life force of the natural world, animals and trees alike. Ironically, we feed the life force of bacteria n viruses that threaten our own life force! I can't help but wonder if we ourselves are the cause of our own undoing... I think the world today is a quite a horrible place to be, like it was since the first human civilisation sprouted. though i'm no history pro or well versed in current affairs, it's really not hard to notice that there has been no cessation of wars, genocide, cruelty, endemics, pollution, destruction, disasters, corruption, misery...the list goes on. yet people in power don't seem to give a hoot, n carry on playing with nuclear weapons n all that. Maybe after all that humans' talk about love, peace, benevolence n all those feelings we pride oursleves upon, we are innately, undeniably driven by the instincts to survive...

whew....

finally got back bio today... think i did ok lar.... got a high D... though could have been better...haha... but i shall not complain... already suan above avg liao....hmmm budden i still hope got moderation lorz... but by the looks of the situation like v difficult la... cos got one PRO kia bio international olympiad gold medallist go n zai zai score 80.6 marks.... n dashed over 400 ppl's hopes of perhaps jumping a grade... woW la... should i be congratulating him or cursing him??? crazy freak... 80.6 for a HC BIO paper??? haha.... he's damn zai lar... but oh well...

today checked out auzzie uni at career guidance room, cos some uni application ppl were there... i'm very interested in taking up speech pathology which is offered at La Trobe n Sydney, so i've decided to apply for both n see can get a place or not... aniwae no harm la since the application fees are waived... budden ah... here's the catch... i'll have to apply using O levels results n A level forecast, which is to be given by my tutors n to b kept confidential from me... fantastic... cos i bet my forecast will be like crap lar... sigH getting a place is one thing, but the other greater hurdle would be to get a scholarship to fund my education... aH... though the org din say scholarship require 4'A's or S papers... budden think of it lar... what are the chances of a person with only 3 pathetic sub being offered a scholarship amongst the sea of 4'A's? really dunno lar... will really hafta depend on how much good deeds i did in my previous life liaoz.... yeah n of cos the final hurdle would b securing 3 As n smth decent for GP.... so the next 33 days shall be very important....

Hmmm

sigh... today's chem day... yeah got back chem...the cohort was FANTASTIC... the mode was O yes... abt 210 ppl had O(35-49 marks) n i am one of theM!!! siGH... another flop... what the hell is wrong with me lar..... did somebody lock my brain up or ate it? pls return it to me... i'm realli in need of my brain~~~ siGhz... i can't imagine if this were to happen during As... oMg... i'm visualizing the moment when i get back my result slip n i have like OOO or what den i might as well dig a hole n bury myself alive!!! goSH... this is great! i have motivation to mug already! aRGH... feel so disgusted with myself....AGAIN...whats up with me man....269, 7 , n now...realli xiao shi liao liao da wei bi jia! F man...

anyway, don't have to worry abt me... jus pouring my grouses to you who are so free to read my blog...wait for good news next year! haha... may this be the only pit in my life!

hmmm... feeling numb now... monday blues...recently in the empty slots of time with nothing to do, i've been thinking about alot of things... mainly about myself... what's the purpose of life? what comes after death? are we jus an empty shell when our hearts stops n breathing ceases? I sort of believe in after-life... well... are all things in life predestined? Am i strong enough to take anyting that comes my way in stride? yuelin's mood has sort of affected my thoughts... he's unhappy over some things in life... so m i...(mainly results lar for me) is failure lethal? why should our lives be scarred by unhappy things that happen in life? well, unhappy, traumatic experiences are hard to forget, and neither should they be forgotten. Such experiences are part of our lives and they are what defines a human life that begins from birth, where everything that we feel, see, touch,smell, taste translate into our own stories. Neither you nor i can fathom what becomes of people after they die. The only thing that we can relate to is what happens here and now... What i'm trying to say is that we should open our hearts and mind to whatever happens to us and yes... face the music... more often than not, all it takes to overcome negative feelings is a change in viewpoint. Feeling hungry sucks.... you hate it... but instead of being grouchy, tell yourself that your food will be tastier when ur famished! hmmmm weak analogy but i suppose u get what i mean...

jus now was flipping through a mag...lifestyle... den i saw this pic of a very beautiful woman beside another pic of the same woman, but about 20 to 30 years later. My god! how she has aged! it den hit me that youth and time are possessions that slip away from us every moment and we will age one day, losing our supple skin, agility and all other manifestations of youth in exchange for wrinkles, walking sticks etc. We should really enjoy n indulge ourselves in the time that is now n the youth that is us. Why let negative experiences and feelings put us down, make us waste precious time feeling sad n all, when we jus need a change in viewpoint to set free the youth in us to make all experiences, good and bad alike, precious memories that will accompany us in old?

not all of us can have to-die-for figures, exams killing intelligence, almighty riches, fame, power whatever. of course it doesn't mean we shouldn't work towards self improvement, but i believe that whatever decisions you make, you must be answerable to yourself. basically, live happy in all situations. what matters is that we have not wasted time. hmmmm.

hmmm...actually i'm not surprised if you dun understand what i wrote above... they are jus fragments of my jumble of thoughts... but i'll be glad if my thoughts made any difference to you out there who's feeling like its the end of the world the next second!

DOWN

DOWN
up to heaven
down to hell,
so far i'm saddened
can't you tell?

once you were,
always so near.
now you are,
my only fear.

you put me down
left me there,
you made me frown
and sometimes swear.

my marks were sad
so i was down,
but don't worry lad,
when i get my As,
you'll kow tow!

--Jennifer Cheng--